It has become human nature to get caught up in a cycle of “should.” What does this mean? How often have you said something like, I really should be happier or I know I shouldn’t be upset. Placing judgment on your feelings is the quickest way to exacerbate them. Using should and shouldn’t holds you back from knowing your true self. Are you ready to release yourself from the “should” cycle with your emotions?
Stay Mindful When You Start to Judge Your Emotions
Judgment is the common denominator when it comes to all areas of life and unhappiness. Do you live a life that from the outside may seem full of abundance and happiness? Perhaps you have a successful career, a nice house, a two-car garage and a loving family but you’re not happy… Do you tell yourself each morning that you should be happy? Do you beat yourself up because your emotions don’t line up with the way you believe they should be?
The first step is to stop beating yourself up. Stop judging your emotions. In those moments when you are feeling upset, take a moment to breathe deep and simply feel the emotions. Then release the negative emotions you are experiencing. Like a cloud, you are blowing away. Take a deep breath and as you exhale simply release the negative energy.
Take a Look Deep Within Yourself
What is the source of this judgment that you have against yourself? The judgment stems from the ego and unless you give this part of yourself mindful attention it will continue to intensify. In your lifetime, did someone tell you or even imply how you “should”‘ feel in a certain situation?
Some children grow up and learn to be seen and not heard. You may have learned that your feelings (erroneously) are not justified. The “should’s” you carry with you as an adult most likely were learned as a child. As a child perhaps they served you and helped you but as an adult, it’s time to let go.
Make Peace With Your Emotions
Feeling your emotions is a powerful and expansive process. When you are able to lean into your experiences, you begin to grow and learn. It’s only when you know how to experience pain that you are able to experience true happiness. So when you are ready to embrace your emotions you can begin to make peace with them.
You are entitled to your emotions and you are justified in how you feel. Just don’t let your emotions overtake you. Finding peace with your emotions will bring you into a more positive physiological state of mind. In the example mentioned above, you will be able to find more happiness with the things you do have instead of finding fault with the things you still long for.
Our life manifests by the patterns of our egoic mind. These patterns will continue to repeat themselves until we recognize and consciously shift the pattern.